~ love ~

Baby!

2009-11-16T21:38:00.002+08:00

been long since i blog. But since i gonna blog. i will blog about you!
Sorry baby i can't get you what you want.
But as you once said.
By the time we saved up the money.
Ok. I will try my best really i will.
We will get a better version of a camera for you kz.
So just bear with it now.
Don't be upset cause you know i will be when you are.
I love you.

I miss you

2009-11-05T21:53:00.000+08:00

You are my sunshine.
My only sunshine.
You make me happy.
You make me smile.
I want to love you.
Forever from now.
PLease don't take my eeyun away.
I MISS YOU BABY!!!!

What you want me to do?

2009-10-27T17:05:00.000+08:00

Without school. At home.
And yet.. too buzi to even check your handphone.
nice hor.
lets trade places see how you feel.
Called thrice.
Messaeg thrice.
and in the end.
Still nid to call your house to ask you check your phone.
Yea do you need me to sink any lower?
Or perhaps u wan me to totally stop messaging you.
In that way i won't bother you right?
Is that what you want?
Fine lets do it this way then.

Baby~~

2009-10-19T21:07:00.002+08:00

Beautiful
Adorable
Bubbly
Youthful

Thats my baby!!!! <3333

Benn 72 hours since i last seen you..
Thats 4320 Mins.
Or thats 259200 seconds.
I'm counting each stinking second that i din get to see you.

Have been thinking alot recently.
From the first time i met you.
Hitting me at the back.. haha.
That little girl that i like immensely from first sight.
To the girl you are now, that i love irrevocably.

Baby i miss you...
Tomorrow by hook or by crook..
After i dismiss at 4pm..
You must meet me kz..

I was worried before. Now its all clear to me.
Worries are all unfounded.
Loving you is the key.
Having you in my life is the best decision.
I love you baby.
and i miss you T_T

We shall see

2009-10-08T00:42:00.000+08:00

On 08 october 12.38am. U said it will never happen again. We shall see.

How much

2009-10-02T17:37:00.001+08:00

How much more disappointed can u make me feel?
I wonder.
It feels like i am already at the peak of all crumbling world.
Thanks for forgetting the time a.k.a thanks for forgetting bout me.
Guess i ain't important anymore

I m..

2009-10-01T14:33:00.001+08:00

i m feeling very sad right now.
but i rather i be sad alone. than to affect you with it.
sorry

Time is ticking away

2009-09-29T13:24:00.003+08:00

Haha. Imagine your disappointment when you wake up this morning and then you see your handphone. Oh wait, it doesnt even have to wait till you check your phone. You expecting a goodnight message from me before you close your eyes and fall asleep. But it never came.

And then now, you read this, and see that i admittedly did not send you the goodnight message for so many days. Always asking what time you sleeping when we are on phone.
I imagine you feeling hurt. Pissed. Bothered. Fustrated. Because you ask, why don't i do all those anymore.

And then i am here telling you. Every night i stare at my phone. Asking myself to message you. But the wors never materialized. And i tell myself , it doesnt matter. Wait till you sleep. I will send. And i lay on my bed. Here my spoilt watch ticking aside. Counting to a thousand. It issit enough for you to sleep? Or issit enough as an excuse for me not to send.

Its ridiculous of me. Because i don't know what to tell you now. Some how you become more critic to me.
The thoughts torment me. Remembering the jokes you made, and i fall apart.
Moments tha are no big deal upset me. Remembering your face and i fall apart.

But then yet, i could feel your love growing. Unlike last time when i doubt you. I totally trust you now. If you say 1, i take it you are doing 1. Because remembering the moments last time. You have changed. My world doesnt revolve around you anymore. It revolves with you. I tried in vain to bring everything back.
But now i know. I didnt want things to go bak in the first place.
I am here where i belong.

Yesterday dreams were just too clear. Its the memories of us together. Thinking of the time when everything seems so simple.
Maybe in two weeks time things will change back.
Maybe in a few days time. I might get rich and i won't feel so inferior when being compared to.
Maybe i didn't try in the first place and you are making me to.
Whatever the case.

Imagine a Terence standing up from his blue chair. Throwing his mickey mouse watch on the bed. Cause the watch is still ticking away.

You left me with so much to think

2009-08-25T19:50:00.001+08:00

hmmm...
i miss the person who is holding on to my psp.
she left me today at home.
with nothing planned.
nothing to do.
no reasons to smile
no meaning to laugh.

she left me today at home.
dashing all the hopes of looking forward to seeing her.
leaving me to surpress my emotions.
the fear that had been growing since last night.

she left me with so much to think about.
and she left me with so much fear about thinking what to think about.

You know

2009-08-17T14:56:00.002+08:00

i know you want me to be there.
Especially when you sick now.
And when you need me to revise with you.
And when i promise that i will be there with you today.

But you know.
Sorry if you see this as an excuse.
I talk to my mum yesterday.
She said,'I didn't know you cannot be seen'
What she meant was.
I am still non-exsistent.
And i am afraid now.
Everytime i go your house.
I will feel afraid.
That what will happen if suddenly, you know.

I know i can't blame you for this.
And i know we need patience in this relationship.
But sorry.
I just can't get that feeling outa me today.

its raining now heavily since morning,
and the rain refuse to stop.

想说的话

2009-08-01T13:01:00.002+08:00

我不明白，
为什么我们之间
突然会有这么多事

我不明白
为什么这几天
我们一个会哭一个会气

我不明白
为什么这几天
我会这么沮丧

我不明白
为什么这几天
我已感觉不到你对我的爱。

我只感觉到。
你的害怕。
我只看到。
你和你朋友笑着的照片。
我只听到。
我们俩的吵架声。
我只摸到。
自己的泪水。

事情应该是这样子的吗？

痛苦

2009-07-25T12:24:00.001+08:00

I feel so lonely again.
But seems like it doesnt matters anymore.
I would rather not meet you.
Since you don't have the intention to meet me.
But i am making the biggest mistake.
Can you spot it?
I am hurting myself.

So

2009-07-24T23:15:00.000+08:00

So, i am really not gonna meet you after all.
Guess i cant smile again

Could you

2009-07-23T13:42:00.001+08:00

Could you feel, how much i yearn to meet you.
To see you.
To get a hug from you.
to get a support from you today.

2009-07-21T14:46:00.000+08:00

I needed a hug so much from you last night.
Brooding over things for 3 hours.
Isint exactly the best thing to do

I wonder how?

2009-07-18T21:43:00.006+08:00

When the first time i met you.
I thought what a little girl you are.
Never did i know the little girl can command such a big love from me.
You probably dint know, since the first time i when on a one to one date with you.
I threw away all my friends.
And i thought you are the same.
Thought wrong din't I.
But we survived all of that din't I.
Because i keep complaining.
And you change slowly, but surely.
The change became apparently.
Then, don't know since when,
We started going out everyday.
We din't ask when we are going to meet.
We took it as a given that we could see each other often.
Troubles came and go.
I told you those are test of our love.
Behind my emotionless face.
Or what you call stupid face.
'Like you are angry like that' face.
Haha.
Can you see the fear?
Can you see the angony?
Can you see the anxiety?
I doubt you could.
You only can see, i am angry with you.
For what you say.
But i always think deeper than that.
When i think of those words.
I always think of the cracks it will cause in our relationsip.
I always think what happen if i lose you 1 day.
I always think how much i have hurt you.
Do you turn around and think of me?
When i tried to let you go to the chalet.
You told me, go until 10 might as well don't go.
You ever thought of my feelings?
Instead of thinking of being able to go.
You think of me being restricting you of going until 10pm.
Is that what you really think?
Have you ever thought about my point of view?
You already know i badly don't want you to go to this chalet.
Even worse, i am feeling so pain inside.
Thinking all you can keep thinking is having fun with you friends.
Isin't that throwing me aside?
I thought you have made me first place.
You have let your friends go.
But actually deep inside.
The person you can let go is me.
Whats 10months compared to 4 years?
Whats one person compared to some many?
I finally saw it le.
The fact that i have always been trying to avoid.
Is this the truth from you?
Can you truly change?
Or will i one day.
Finally irk you so much.
That you have decided.
After everything.
Your friends is most important.
Terence can be thrown away.
Or will you finally change.
And the day will come when i say.
Yes my dear.
I know you love me.
I am there finally.
The place i wanted to be.
Could you let go or not?

Dots

2009-07-16T15:15:00.002+08:00

Our Love Will Never Be The Same Ever Again.

This Have To Be The Biggest Crack In Our Relationship.

Because I Refused To Let You Go.
And You Refused To Let Go.

and there i was hoping that you will finally relent
and there you were hoping that i will finally relent
this cross-road will never end
and the only thing that will be lost is not you nor me
is just this thing we share called love.

the hope in your eyes is making me despair.
the despair in my eyes is making you sad.
how will this end?

What should i do?

2009-07-12T16:05:00.001+08:00

You made me regret my words.
But i am sure i made you regret your words too.
I will live with my regret.

I know, i feel, i feel afraid.

2009-07-07T22:48:00.002+08:00

On blog says, i complete you thats why i love you.
Its wrong.

If i had completed you, we would not need to have such quarells.
We would not need to discuss those topics.

I know you need your friends.
I feel that maybe somehow,
You are sick of seeing me already,
Which is why, i feel.
I failed.
Totally failed in loving you.

Because i feel what i am afraid of feeling.

That perhaps your love has waned.

无话可说。

2009-07-05T19:14:00.002+08:00

I really have nothing to say to you.
Perhaps i have been keeping you from your friends for too long.
Perhaps i should let you go now?

Hmm.
Pushing the time.
Hesitation to reject.
Unmistakeable yearning in your eyes.
Purpose planning of pushing time.
And already deep in your mind.
I don't know what else you are planning to do with your friends.
Hmmm, seem surprising?
Nah.
except that maybe its alot different from how i do things.

I shorten the time with my friends.
No hesitation to reject.
Unmistakeable sianxness.
Purpose findin excuse to shorten the time more.
And no matter what.
I will forever inform you.
And i could only want to reach earlier.
Never later.

smses flying about.
Maybe its time?
i repeat what its done

i wonder

2009-07-03T21:12:00.002+08:00

听不到我要的答案，
我决定放弃了。

i wonder if i make the right decision.
But i decided.
I shall heck care from now on.

you won't have to make the choice anymore.
i have made it for you.
It's too late.

Baby.

2009-06-29T21:25:00.002+08:00

I wonder why i am saying this all over again.
Baby, i heard you are sick.
I been so worried.
Its leaving me pain in my heart.

Tell me, whats is the cause.
Thats been hurting you since so long ago.

I wish i could help you.
I wish i could take it away.
Anyway.

I just want you to know.
I wish i can trade all the pain away from you.
And have it all to myself.
That would lessen your suffering isin't it.
But somehow, you always want to be so strong.
Just to be there and talk to it.
I can't do it you know.

Please, 'take a rest' isin't 'i m angry'
Dun misunderstood my words kz.

I love you honey.
I really do..
And because now i finally know.
The reason why i love you isint because you are who you are.
Is because, there ain't no reason to love any other girls.
You are totally the one i know i love.
And the one and only in my heart forever.

<3
P.s.
I will keep this night to myself.
As a memory of something.
Something that make me see how much you love me.
Something that make me feels, how much i should love you more.
And starting from now, i shall.

Teach me.

2009-06-22T23:22:00.002+08:00

Baby, teach me how to get rid of this feeling?
Time after time.
You got so much things in hand.
And then i get all the insecurities gushin at me once again.
And all those crap thinking i get.

And don't you see what i am doing?
Each time when you make me wait.
I did back the return to you.
Haix.
But its kinda stupid.
Cause i feel bad myself that way.

Oh well.. guess it cant be helped at times.
Haix.

My friends told me the end might be near.
I told them the beginning have not even started.
Prove my words right kz baby?.
Love you

Babe

2009-06-22T11:44:00.001+08:00

Babe, when you see this. You would know i am smiling.
But you won't know the reason behind the smile.
Muahaha.
Love you

Somehow.

2009-06-19T18:38:00.002+08:00

i don't know why, but you seem to be enjoying your stay at home.
Guess that makes 1 of us.
at least u r happy, thats all it matters isin't it.

After every phone call.
You sound so glad to say goodbye,
while i sound so sad to say goodbye.
Did you even notice?

guess not.

Its the really the end for us?
i m kinda getting that losing you feeling again.
guess its up to you to answer that.

You actions don't speak the same words anymore.
i know that.
So do you

2009-06-18T22:46:00.000+08:00

i say, i'm happily loving ney

Buzz

2009-06-14T22:00:00.001+08:00

keep hearing a buzzing noise in my ear.
Its telling me to forget whatever i said.

But somehow there is not any use.
Cause i could not get rid of the pain of the heart.
Can u see it?
Its breaking into pieces.
Can u hear it?
Its shattering.
Can you feel it?
Its being torn into mani pieces.

Or maybe you rather not.
After all all you always do is to.
Do wrong wait for me forgive.
If i dont i flare.
You just avoid n let me cooldown
N the cycle goes all over again.

when will you put me in the first place?

What it means?

2009-06-12T11:36:00.002+08:00

Pictures of you, pictures of me.
Doesn't seem the same anymore.
Pieces of me, shattered on the ground.
Waiting for someone to pick them up.
What would it takes for me,
To piece back myself again.
To me, i couldn't feel it anymore.
Its like, are you there anymore?
I fear to answer the question.
-End-

acting strong definitely isin't the way to piece up myself.
I finally know that.
But then, what is the way?

Everytime

2009-06-11T10:45:00.002+08:00

Everytime i think of those days i cant meet you straight.
Its like a knife plungin straight into my heart.
Directly in, thinking of it i could hv cry seriously.
No matter how i put it to myself.
It still hurts freaking deeply.
I don't know how long before i can pull through..
Seriously don't.

Baby won't you tell me why?

2009-06-11T00:52:00.001+08:00

There is sadness in your eyes.
I don't wanna say goodbye... To you.
I love you.
Please stop crying.

Turns back

2009-06-10T22:04:00.002+08:00

Slowly n slowly..
it turns back agn.

Outside.. i could always hear you calling me
'Terence'....

Haix...
wonder y i so particular though...

Nvm...

And then, i always feel maybe.
i asked too much from you.
Shouldnt ask u sacrifice so much
So what if i could not get what i want.

Maybe i will never get it again..

I will live past it. Hopefully bah.

Becoz my heart say so.

2009-06-06T14:04:00.000+08:00

Baby i miss you so much...
it hurts.

Hope u r smiling..
i miss u.

Maybe after......

2009-06-05T18:38:00.002+08:00

Maybe after tomorrow, the bitterness will go away.
Who knows?
After all this time, the expectation started rising.
Maybe after tomorrow, its a good time to cool it down.
Start all over again.
But will you really understand?
Or will you be stuck at that level of understanding?

I really hope you would be the one, who can understand my thoughts.
My emotions.
How i wished you can read me like a book.
That all will be clear to you just by a single look.

Really hope so.

Maybe after tomorrow, i can start hiding things from you.
I could hid things that i won't want you to know.
And there would be much less shouting.
Or maybe there would be totally no shouting.

Maybe after so long, i started to believe that.
I can trust you completely.
But yet i don't know why.
I feel so insecure inside still.

I never doubt you.
But i ask myself.
Can i achieve it?

Maybe after some more time, the results will show.
And maybe after that time, the decision to be made will be clearer.

Maybe or maybe there is no more maybe after.

-100

2009-05-31T23:07:00.002+08:00

-100 thats the score for today.
i dun even wan to break down the score.
It totally... sucks.

Today i found out how mistaken i was.
That i could ignore everything.
Totally mistaken u understand me so deeply
that u can read my emotions.
totally mistakes.
Emotions ran wild.
Everything juz fall apart.
and even until night fall.
it still sux.
i shall stay awake till 12.
n hope for a better tomorrow.
dun wan elaborate animore..

I m still waiting for it.

HeHe

2009-05-30T19:37:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was one of the most perfect day of my life.
I don't know why.
But anyway, baby shared my sentiments.

In the morning she went to collect her results with her big sister.
WHile i camp at home.
Oh wait.
I mean while i sleep at home.

Then right on cue, i woke up around the same time as baby.
Wow.
15 points for this.

Then i messaged baby.
SO she told me so gg her school collect her report book.
Thats when i camp.
But i din exactly feel bored.
Just expectant that i will go out and see baby soon.

SOon i bathed and changed.
Baby and i decided where to go, and what to do very quickly.
Much faster then any other days.
Well actually is baby who decide. But yea
Another 15 points. WooHoo.

So while Baby was making her way to ang mo kio.
I decided to go early and buy the tickets.
Wow thz god i made the right choice.
The queue was so long. Luckily i arrived early and could buy tickets
Right decision 5 points.

AND i met wanteo.
Omg.
everything seem to fall into place perfectly.
I was walking around and i suddenly wanteo.
Wow. 5 points for the meeting.
And she finally saw eeyun. Haha

Currently 40points.

AND then we had a nice meal at Mosburger.
Wow i gotta say.
ITs quite nice having the meal while sharing everything together.
Well almoz everythg =P.
Darling din eat my burger.
While we shared all the rest.
Fries butterfly shrimps milk tea .
And darling tried 1 mouth of my corn soup Haha.
10 points.

Then after walking around awhile.
We had some talk.
Then walking around passing time.
Bought darling her prawn crackers (original flavour)
See i love you rite haha.
well and found my favourite sweets.
Yayness 5 points.

Then finally
Its time
OUR 3D MOVIE.
WOOHOO ITS A VERI VERI NICE MOVIE.
funny and hilarious
and most importantly i watching it wif baby.
<333333
30points.

Then after that.
I decided to sent baby home.
She agree but she say she wan buy some chewy junior first.
So we went to tiong Baru.
And bought the chewy junior.

At the mrt while waiting for a train wif couple seats.
WE talk alot.
Well though quite a serious tok.
But we enjoy ourselves.
I hope darling enjoyed coz i sure did.
Laugh n talk.
Haha 10points.

Then after sending baby home.
We messaged all the way. while i was on the train home.
Her mum had a fairly good impression of me.
I hope she really did anw.
Haha.
Well another good thing.
15points.

Well so to say.
adding up everything.
I have 110points.
Outa 100 i get 110 points.
WHich shows yesterday was truly great.
I love you baby. <333333333

Lets score higher next tym haha.

Hot.... nope.. Cold...

2009-05-22T22:33:00.002+08:00

Hmmmm..
Still waiting....
For the surprise decision u will make.
to cheer me up for life.

I really mean it.
I have been waiting for it for very long le.

Haix...
But i really could see you changed alot for me.
You threw down alot for me.
I really shouldnt be asking anything else from you.

Really shouldnt.

2009-05-11T22:12:00.000+08:00

I wonder why, how come you never ask how i feel around you.
Ask for the answer over the phone kz =)

I'm just a little sadder then usual, but at least i am much happier.

2009-05-04T21:29:00.002+08:00

Well time play tricks on people don't they.
Haha..
Just a few weeks ago,
There was me emoing.
SO much happen.
So confused..
Yet now.
Out of nowhere.
I got a super duper awesome irreplacable amazin girlfriend.
And i love her so much that i start to see other girls as guys omg.
LOL!!

Seriously
Please stay by me.
I promise n i can assured you.
There's no reason for me to like any other girl.
Because you are simply perfect now to me.

My perfect girlfriend.

recollections....

2009-04-26T22:35:00.002+08:00

Before she came into my life~~~~~
This is how my life sounds like :D

Wake up at 10am and on my phone.
Yawns and drop back to sleep because too tired.
Previous night was playing football manager or dota or whatever games.
Probably audition haha.. played until 3+am

Then there will be 3 routes in my life then.
First route.. School days..
See the time..
'Aiya late le'
Dun give a damm went back to sleep.
Pon morning lesson again.

Classmates goes' the usual Terence not here'
Then appear in school at 2pm.. Dependin afternoon lesson wat time starts.
Then play pooled.
Hang out after school.
Waste alot money on arcades.
Pool.
Then go home on comp play like mad again..

Second route..
School holidays.. and weekends..

Wake up again at 12pm....
see handphone no msges.. no miss calls.
Then will on comp while go brush teeth n read sports news on newspaper..
Then wait for maid dabao brunch back...
Makansutra..
While all the while in front of teh comp gaming...
'What no life'~
Then played until 3am go sleep...

last route.
School holidays...
Wake up at 10am see dao handphone got messages.
OR miss call..

Replied by via same channel.
Get a date..
MOSTLY with bastian briel tat hester roy etc...
SImply put..
POLY frens..

Occasionally got brothers like yk n zhu...

Once in a blue moon gt Tian Rong Yl tt clique....

Then just go out..
Waste money on myself again...
Reach home at nite use comp until 3am
Go sleep...
Simply put... I m free n easy...

After getting her...
My 3 routes of life easily became 1 route..
Watch...

Morning 8am wake up...
Yea its 8am..
Handphone wasnt even switch off..
Yawns n go back to bed...
Tired becoz chatted wif her till late last nite...
Then most of the time sure got message..
Her message..
Wake up to reply..
And the flurry of messages will start..
Then all the while.. will be always msging her..

Eat brunch one hand msg her...
Use comp btw.. cant play games le except football manager this kind of oni nid 1 hand game.. or oni can msn....
Still msgin her..
Then rite in school oso kip msgin her..
Den dismiss le call her.
Meet her..
den go home..... call her
all the while chat wif her one hand....
one hand eat..
oni time hang up is bath time...
den chat chat chat.....
So it had totally became like this....

if the previous was no life..
i wonder what u say this...

But then again..
I miss her..
I miss her smiles.
Her stubbornness..
Her wilfulness....
Those day when we went out, the fun joy and laughter we had.
The talks on the phone that make both of us smile.
Laugh.
Cry even..

Those times when we started knowing each other...
And the love bud started growing..
And yet both of us din notice..
The silly debates we had..
You choose you choose...
or
I love you first... like that oso can quarell rite..

She filled my life with so much things...
And like i once used to be an empty vase..
At least she filled it up wif fresh flowers...

My mum best fren commented...
When Eeyun is around.. Terence is obviously much cheerfulness..

Well you people get what i mean...

On the outside..
It maybe no life..
But inside....
Those messages meant alot..
Those talks on calls meant more..
Her presence itself is what i truly need...

Stop asking me to move on guys..
It may seem no life to you..
But its the best part of my life..
Cause thats when i can safely say..

Yea people.. I am in love.

Without you, can i ever say that sentence again?

2009-04-17T22:07:00.000+08:00

i wanted to blog... thats all i could say.

Choices

2009-03-29T17:49:00.002+08:00

Haha.. Came as a shocker.
But actually i knew it.
Just a feeling that can't be brushed off.
I've been making the wrong choices lately.

Maybe playing this game is the greatest mistake.
Watching you suffer.
I decided.
I stand by my words.
No matter what, you are most important.

The decision may seem hard to make.
But its actually relatively easy.
I am withdrawing from the game.
I am returning to you.

Lately, life had been cruel to you.
Lately, Terence has been neglecting you.
Lately, You had been suffering alone,
while 1 pathetic shit, who cannot be named.
Terence had been having some fun haven't he.

When you cried, the tears crashes my world.
You can't possibly ask me not to cry you know.
Especially when it hurt so much.
To see how much you had suffered alone.

I am sick and tired of saying sorry.
I am sick of making the wrong choices.

So For Now.
I want you to be selfish.
Please Demand for me whenever you need me.

Please Scold me and throw tantrum whenever i made the wrong choice.

Please tell me straight whatever you are thinking,
How hurtful, stupid, lame, insensitive, freaking retarded am i

Please Hurt me back as much as i hurt you.
So that i won't feel so guilty anymore.

Its funny to say, but i did learn something from these few days.

The difference between love and like.

When you like someone, her emotions affects you like a wind brushing against your skin.
You feel it, but you don't totally know whats the feeling.
When she is sad, you would want to console her.
You would say all kind of stupid stuff just to make her happy.
Then you will say,' Yay, you are happy again.'

When you love someone, her emotions affects you like a knife piercing through your heart.
You feel it, AND YOU CAN NEVER FORGET THAT FEELING.
When she is sad, YOU CAN't CONSOLE HER.
WHY?
Cause you feel sad with her.
You wish to say all kind of stupid stuff to make her smile again.
But god, You can't really say anything except Sorry.
I am uselss.

And when she finally cheer up, The feeling is like
Wow i am seeing the sun again.
Finally, she is happy.
Then you feel you lived.
Words can't descibe how you feel at all.

Thats is the difference between like and love.

And is damm obvious
I am too deeply in love with Ng Eeyun.

I found my phone.
I must have miss your phone calls.
Tell by your tone,
I have screwed it all up again.

Just as when i wanted to call you back.
You refuse to pick up your phone.
And when you finally pick it up.
I could hear you crying behind the phone.

And its killing me now.

Instead of holding you,
I was holding out.
I should have let you in ,
But i let you out.

I am so sorry.
I am pathetic.
ANd now i only hope,
You give me a second chance.

Story on.....
And finally Terence knew how much NeyNey needed him.
He felt so damm guilty.
What the heck had he been doing?
What can be done?
ANd pathetically,
HE CHOSE THE ONLY STUPID WAYS.
HE CRIED.

As Tears streamed down,
he is starting to learn the pain of neyney.
he finally knew.
And this feeling had been lost in those days of numbness from missing neyney.

That the one he truly love is Neyney.
Nothing or nobody can change that.

And he decided,
From this day fro,
Wrong choices must all change to right choices.
And Neyney must never experienced days like these again.

The end.

Love,
Terence.

...

2009-03-25T11:36:00.001+08:00

Post deleted.

不该说出来的心里话.

2009-03-22T14:28:00.002+08:00

No matter how i don't seem to care.
deep inside.
I have alot of fears.
But nobody can hear them.

So much fears,
So little to tell.

So much tears,
So little to drop.

So much emotions,
So little to let out.

Haix.....
Should one day....
I don't know....

Maybe this few days not meeting you is a right choice bah.

I am gettin suicidal recently.
And lucky darling cannot see it.

Not contacting you,
You think i did it on purpose?
I am just afraid if i start..
Everything will just hits me again.

I am running away from reality.

Its not that i don't need you.
Its not that i don't want you beside me.

Its not that i am too shy to ask for you to be by my side.

But i know...
No matter what..
sooner or later..
It will end..

Or should i say..
There will be a new beginning.

While reading this,
Please do not mistaken i am thinking nonsense again.
And having all the insecurity.
The fears, tears, emotions.
Have nothing to do with you treating me second place.
You not asking me out or whatever.

It is also not related to me missing you too much.
Although i really do miss you.

Your comfort is what i really need.
But your comfort is what i am really scared to ask for.
Cause i knows, when reality hits.
The pain is doubled.

I suppose other then those fews i can open up too..
none can really see the real me.

But no one, ever heard before my fears.
The truth inside my heart.

Years past...
I have given the keys of many secrets to different people.

Wanyi, YuKang, Ah Kai, Sebastian, Tian Rong, and unbelieveably...
Clarine.

But i decided,
Since i could see you in my future.
And as i always say you are the first spot.

I shall allow you and only you my love.
Ng Eeyun,

I shall say out my fears,
Let you see the real me.

And i hope,
You can forgive me.
For making this decision so late.

I should have known, that you are always the right one.
And i should have open up to you.

Forgive me my darling.

When you want to hear it,
i shall say it.

~.~

2009-03-21T22:03:00.003+08:00

Seems like tomorrow is another day.
That i would wake up at 10am.
Then tell myself...
'Hmmm she's busy let's not message her'
Lol!!!!!....

Probably will become like that...

Was thinking about what Hui Juan told me at one time.
Figured out something.
If a guy really want a true relationship with a girl.
He will never lie to the girl.
And especially never gonna lie about his family.

Haha..

Haix...
How could say how sorry am i..

I really didnt know you needed me...
Y wouldnt you say it out..

Please darling.
Next tym,
When you really need me.

Please just say out.
I will throw down everything aside.
Just for you.

I really couldnt explain how sorry am i.

Mian-Hamnida

Just a random post

2009-03-18T23:14:00.002+08:00

Silence doesn't mean anything, It means everything.
The answer to my question.
The result of my test.
The product of my foolishness and sillyness.
The finale thing of my reckless act.

hahah

Its time to piece up the pieces.
Complete the puzzle.
And feel my love for you.

Lets start haha..

Undescrible feeling.

2009-03-16T21:54:00.002+08:00

Lol..title says it all.

Sitting all alone.
Staring at my computer screen.
I wonder.
Maybe i did know.
That this was coming.
Silly me.

Talking no sense into myself.
Just got a feeling.
Yea i am there.
Sitting all alone in your head.
Sitting by the edge in your heart.

But yet i know.
I exist.

Before i tell myself its a different scene.
I tell myself its different from what i see.
How much is real?
How much isint?

I am confused...

If ever one day, you tell me you don't love me anymore.
Whats there left for me?
I wonder.

=)

2009-03-13T10:20:00.002+08:00

Darling, whatever happens, i will be there for you.
I will be there behind all your decisions.
I will be there for you to rant on.
I will be there to catch your tears.

I hoped you had a happy birthday yesterday.
I wished you liked you gifts.
Haha.
And i wait, with awaited breath, for that smile on your face,
when you saw the surprises.

Oh yea baby, send me those photos yea.

I never wanted to see you cry.
I always hope to see you smile.
To laugh together with you.
To take away those sadness from you.

But i know sometimes,
It is impossible.
But however,
I only wish that.
You can allow me to stay beside you.
And be your listening ear.
And to catch your tears.
And be there to comfort you when you need it.

Because i love you.

Lies

2009-03-04T23:13:00.004+08:00

Lies

After all the broken promises, all the fucking lies.
The truth is there for all to see.
I am fucking second place.

Just because your friend wan to celebrate with you
You push me aside.
Fine. Go on.
Have fun with your friends.
I let you have your friends then.

I make it very clearly.
On your birthday, Its either me or your friend
You would not get both.

I never felt so fucked up before.
You telling me i am first place.
While there you decided,
YOU HAD ALREADY DECIDED,
To have that party with your friends.

Whats the point of thinking bout what to do with me after that.
When your heart already wants that with your friends.

Clarine is right.
I ain't to blame for why things turn out this way.
You and i both knows i did enough.
In fact.
More then enough.

I strife hard to keep my promises.
Ok fuck heck keep my promises.
I EVEN REMEMBERED MY PROMISES

WHAT BOUT YOU?

I bet you don't remember on that day 2 months back.
At bugis,
You promise to spend your birthday only with me.

Yea, 100% you forgotten.

Fucking broken promises.
Quit lying that i am in first place
You and i both noe i am 2nd.
Don't bother denying.

Think bout it my way.
When its my birthday,
i want to spend it with you.
Nobody even my mother father yukang wanyi any fucking hell person,
can convinced me otherwise.

Just because your friends refuse to give in,
You hesitated,
you end up deciding to go with them.

I had enough of being second place.

If you want show i am first.
Show with actions.
Not with fucking lies that hurts.
Or broken promises that break more than the promise.
It breaks my heart.

^ the above is posted by friend(remains anonymous) and would like readers to be more tolerant as these are words of anger. Do what you must!

Yay Well done Sebastian Tan, You helped Terence posted.

Lessons

2009-03-03T00:26:00.004+08:00

Haha..
Well in school you learn all your maths la.
Geography la.
Physics la.
Chemistry la.
Social Studies.
English.
Chinese.
Art.

Haha.
But i am way past that level.

However there is lessons that i have learnt,
And is still learning.
Like falling in love with you.

Well, i always thought i had been throught love alot of times.
Trust me, I really thought so.
I really thought i was playing around with love.
But after being in you,
I learnt that all i have thought is rubbish....
I had never been through love before.
Playing around with love, How to talk about that topic when i never been in love?
The only thing being played around is myself.
And the other girls, who i must apologies too.
Sorry.

But being with you is different.
I learnt the lessons of love.
Ok, maybe not all the lessons of love.
But for god sake,
I bet is better lessons than what zhijie learn in his gems.
Haha.

Lesson number one:
Love does not mean trusting.
But without trust, love can never blossom.

Darling, before you, i had never really trust myself to a person totally.
Yea its pathetic i know.
I always held back some parts.
No matter to who.
Even Yukang, Wan yi.
Sorry to those i mention.
It seems there is always a barrier.

But after meeting you.
I had to throw myself into it.
To really trust you completely.
And i really do now.

The only one i ever trusted.
You my darling.
I will never doubt you.
Though sometimes i will use your words to tease you.
But i never once doubt you.
Love you sweetie.

Lesson number 2:
Loving someone is troublesome.
But you have to know in your heart.
Do you hate that trouble more than you love that person?

This lesson is taught to me by mama.
Haha.
But its true.

Once she asked this question.
I knew the answer straight.
Of cause i love you more than i hate any troubles.
Besides, you don't give me troubles haha..
So darling, i will always, and will forever love you.

Lesson number 3:
Love is not about spending time with you.
Its about how the time was spend with you.

Well darling, this was from my previous 'relationships'.
You see, in the past.
Most of the girls are from my class or just for some reasons.
I can see them everyday and spend time with them.
But with you, though we had much lesser time compared.
But those times are spent meaningfully.
And i know i had enjoyed myself totally.
Hopes you had too.

Well in any case.
I stop at 3 lessons for now.

But the final lesson you actually taught me is,
Love requires commitment

I fail to do that in the past.
But meeting you.
A girl i had never loved so much before.
Committing myself to you.
Just seems so easy.

Love you honey.
For who you are,
And for loving me.
Thanks

2009-02-26T00:35:00.001+08:00

i knew you are the right girl, cause you are the one that can influence my feelings just like the moon influence the waves of the oceans.

But despite all the up and downs you give me, i will still love you as you are.

Dream Vs Reality

2009-02-25T14:02:00.003+08:00

Hmmm... I stayed up late last night ( very late)

While waiting for my soccer match to start....

I did abit of reflection...

Something happen along our way...

Little things that change the game....

Well maybe the only thing that have change its me.....

Whenever i am out with you..

It has made it so, i muz focus on telling you and showing you my true self....

But truely, trying to show you my true self isint really my true self..

Sorry if you dun understand tis...

Because you are so hyped up in knowing wat my heart thinks,

you din notice the momentary pause in me.

When i lapse in reality to think wats the true self.....

I m sorry i have to post this.

Because i don't know whats happening to me now.

Sorry Sorry.....

But still... an undeniable fact... i feel whole and complete when i am with you..
i don't know why.........
but its just that way..
you complete me like a jigsaw puzzle..
haha...

last night i had a dream...
i dreamt i was at a void deck...
i saw a girl kissing a guy....
the girl was you..
the guy you were kissing wasn't me....
i woke up straight away..
i felt my heart aching....
lol....
if my heart could ache just by seeing you kiss another guy in my dream..
imagine me losing you in real life.....

haha..
wonder whether i could face reality on that day not...

listening to the music of the falling rain..
dancing outside my house...
behind the dark gloomy clouds.
is the beautiful glowing sun....

If the path i am walking now..
is in the rain..
i will pressed on..
no matter how tough...
to climb through the dark clouds..
just to see you once again...
i just wish...
you would wait for me till then...

and forgive for all the wrongs i have done...
and forget all the wrongs i have said.....
cause the only real words that came from the bottom of my heart
is just
Ng Eeyun, i will love you forever

Wedding Vow

2009-02-21T00:08:00.002+08:00

I Terence Goh Ming Zhe, take you Ng Eeyun, to be my wedded wife. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness.

Well i found a new song!!!!....
Friday I'm in love.

Thinking of editing lyrics again.......
well hahahaha......

Anyway... these feel days never blog.
Honey scold le...
"Ei someone hor like very long never blog le"

yea so precisely why i m bloggin now lalala

haha...
Today qoute" I never thought i was handsome. But after meeting Ong JiaWei, I knew i wasn't ugly."

hahaha...ok honey mite kill me lalalala....

well actually today is qte sianx de...

Lata gg fight war agn... haix....
duno la....oh yea...

I M SO NOT GONNA DELETE THAT SLEEPING PHOTO OF U =P..
ITS GONNA BE MY WALLPAPER HONEY lalalal....
Love you...

Anw end of short post... haha...
update agn

OH YEA..HOLIDAY LE!!!! WOOHOOO..

Face to face

2009-02-15T18:44:00.002+08:00

Well yesterday valentine day was a disappointment....not for me...
for Honey...
I absolutely failed as a boyfren -sob sob-
haix..
Sorry darling...
Other then the overpriced ferrero rocher bouquet...(with a uncute bear)
ANd the ugly handmake card.
And the failed other stuff....
oh not to mention the movie only.......

haix...
sorry sorry....

Well had a nice time wif honey today.....
Met her after tuition haha...
Went to watch 'The other end of the line'
Its a very nice movie but while watching the movie..
I felt something funny.. haha
Was hugging honey while watching the movie...
Cant seem to kip my eyes off her though haha...
Then at one particular moment...
While looking at her..
she turn around..
n the movie screen pale white light lit up her face..
i found myself staring face to face with an angel...
those that you feel that you never want to let go...
the one you feel you want to keep close to you all your life...
the one that makes you feel comforted, never alone...
the one who i will love all my life...

love you honey.
Angel of my life =)

Silence, Roses, Really sorry

2009-02-13T00:02:00.004+08:00

Today, i got honey 3 pink roses haha.
The first ever roses i gave her.
And i promise it will not be the last roses i will give you honey.
So after a visit to simei park, sent her to her tuition.
Well sorry to make you late honey haha.
If ever got another time i send you to tuition,
I will make sure you go on time. =)

After that took bus 39 home.
Reach home awhile, Honey tuition ended le haha.
Called and talk.
After she reach home, continued talking.
Well it wasnt a perfect day to talk bah.
Because keep hearing her keyboard tapping sounds,
and i know she can hear my mouse clicking sounds.
Probably waiting for me to say something, but i didn't.
Cause i was hoping for once, she will be the one to say something.
Well, silence came.
It had a strange feeling.
I don't know why.
Its unpleasant.
But i did not want to break it.
Not tonight.
But i know its not really nice to her.
Sorry honey for not talking.
I really didn't want to say anything.
Probably a petty feeling.
Probably a sianxness feeling.
Probably you were right again ain't you.

But one thing is definite,
I denied.
Cause i just did not want to admit it happen.

But i am really truly sorry darling.
To spoil ur night like this.
SoRRy

I can't.

2009-02-09T23:49:00.001+08:00

think of how to spend the 5 days without hurting myself
think of anything except the 5 days
think of ways to change my thinking
find anything to do to fill up the days
find ways to stop the effect of fading out
find other things to distract me
convince myself i can even after hearing you say i can
convince myself to have faith in myself
convince myself i am still alive after 5 days

seem to do anything except saying thinking believeing trusting telling myself

i can't

Assurance

2009-02-05T21:08:00.002+08:00

Honey i duno y..
but mayb becoz i had nvr loved a girl like i loved you
its true...
being with you...
i feel together like tis is where i belong...
being with you...
i feel that ' yea... tis is the right girl'

but becoz i had nvr love you like i loved ani...
somehow...
i duno wats the next step to take....
would you teach me?
would you have the patience to wait for me learn?
would you be forgiving if i make a mistake?

honey i rly duno wat to do...
i love you its true
but i duno wats the next step to take..

can you guide me?
would you take my hand n walk with me along this path?

darling......
i m juz seeking assurance

2009-02-04T22:28:00.002+08:00

If the night has come.
and the light is gone.
with only the moon for us to see.
would you stay by my side?

if the rains has come
and the noise follows
with only the pitter patter to hear
would you be beside me?

if the demons appears
behind the curtains inside my heart
with only your love to feel
would you be there for me?

my darling hear me
if i could see you each day
i wun care if the moon wun shine

if i could hear you each night
i wun care if the rain wun stop

if i could love you every moment
i wun care the demons wun go

so please my dear my baby
let me see you and lit up my day
let me hear you and have a sound sleep
let me love you...till the end of my life.

=)

i could find mani words to describe how much i love you really.
but none could come close to the true meaning.
just wish to be with you.

2009-02-03T22:40:00.003+08:00

Baby being with you is always the most joyful things in my life.
Darling seeing you smile lits up my day.
Honey hearing your voice give me the energy to do anything.
宝贝，我能爱着你，是我这一身最幸福的事。
Dear please don't cry anymore. Knowing you almost cried, though for some reasons. i never want to see a tear drop down ur eyes.
Zhuzhu after seeing this, please smile kz =).

傻瓜 english name is silly =)

2009-02-02T23:44:00.011+08:00

Story time?

haha

Back to 傻瓜！

傻瓜傻瓜
你真的很爱她
看不到她
傻瓜就无耐

在这一天
傻瓜和她去海边
在沙滩上
傻瓜与她过了一天
傻瓜会永记这一天

在沙滩上
傻瓜傻傻地看着她睡觉
看着看着
傻瓜的心就被偷走了

傻瓜知道
自己能这样看着她睡觉
看着看着
一直看着

傻瓜看着看着
看着她流落出的平静
自己烦恼消失在云外

看着看着
看着她发出的光芒
自己也充满了期待

看着看着
看着她静静的睡在那
自己一点也不想放开这一刻

宁愿时间凝住了
让傻瓜一直这样让她睡下去

始终她还是起来了
傻瓜看着她睡醒时
自己虽然觉得有点遗憾
但看着她那漂亮的双眼张开时
傻瓜觉得自己是最幸福的男孩
能拥有这份爱

如果有一天
傻瓜即将失去她
傻瓜告诉她
谢谢你让我有过这份爱
没有了你的日子
傻瓜虽然不会过
但只求你永远快乐

但如果有那一天
傻瓜只求你不要没收傻瓜的爱
就让傻瓜一直这样傻傻爱着你

知道哪一天的到来
也许永远不回来
傻瓜会好好地珍惜和你度过的每一天
每一个小时
每一个分钟
每一秒

Below is a letter i found in my heart one day........

亲爱的她，

只想让你知道。
傻瓜会一直爱着你

不管自己有多痛苦
傻瓜知道都是值得的
不管傻瓜自己受多少委屈
傻瓜知道都是值得的
不管傻瓜吃了多少醋
傻瓜知道都是值得的
不管傻瓜需做多少傻事
傻瓜知道都是值得的

为了跟你在一起
傻瓜知道
做什么都是值得的

但如果有一天
傻瓜不能给你快乐了
请你坦白告诉傻瓜
好让你能去找自己的幸福

傻瓜只求那一天不会来
但傻瓜不会阻止你

虽然说了这么多废话
但傻瓜只想真心告诉你

傻瓜想和你永远在一起。

爱你，
傻瓜

2009-01-31T19:01:00.002+08:00

well blogged.....

Thanks honey for changing my blogskin for me.
and sorry i sounded so shagged..
coz i rly m shagged

看不见你的人要我这么笑得了
要说我自私我也不会怪你的
没有地球我的太阳不会燃烧
没有你我的人不知所作

kz that pretty sums up how much i feel...
oh yea... i listenin to 彩虹 rap went posting tis so yae the words can fit in the rap lol...

ok story tym...

从前从前
有个小傻瓜
一天一天
傻瓜遇到了她
从那一天
傻瓜知道自己很爱她
却不知这么好好地爱她

有一天
傻瓜没看见她
心里就开始闷
但是傻瓜也知道她需要有自己的生活
就跟自己说别烦她

傻瓜就是傻瓜
自己闷也不肯说出来
最后最后
就闷出了病来
你说傻瓜傻不傻？

其是傻瓜不只是很傻
傻瓜也是很愚蠢
傻瓜也可以说是特别的自私
也可以说是一个王八蛋

傻瓜不知自己有多傻
傻瓜不要知道自己有多笨
傻瓜不需要你来说它很自私
傻瓜已经知道自己是个王八蛋

若有一天傻瓜失去了她
请傻瓜自己醒一醒
看看自己真的有多傻
会不会已太迟学学
这么好好地爱她。

really rly shagged...
duno wat to feel
duno wat to do.
i wanna know..but i m scared to ask.
i wanna hear..but i m scared to listen.
i wanna see..but i m scared to open my eyes.
i wanna feel..but i m scared to use my heart.
i wanna see you love you touch you hear you be there with you.
n i duno wat m i scared of
probably just losing you.

2009-01-29T18:01:00.000+08:00

shagged..
我的心好痛好痛
真的好痛

2009-01-26T23:31:00.002+08:00

WOW...
MY HONEY IS RLY SO BEAUTIFUL!!!
ABSOLUTELY!!!!!
WOW WOW WOW

I M SO OBSESSED LE!!!!

RLY RLY regret today cannot go see u real life haix
so beautiful omg honey!!!!

ARHHH!!!!!!

ok i m gna hyperventilate n die soon

haha

pretty honey
though no matter wat u wear
oso pretty to me

today u r extremely stunning haha

YAYNESS!!!

2009-01-25T13:59:00.004+08:00

UPDATE!!!!:
nuyee says:i want terence goh ming zhe to love ng ee yun for an eternity

Well Honey, since u asked me blog haha...
Ytd had a nice day at work...
obviously honey lai pei wo mah..
of coz nice..
Love die her <33

Well anw..
the answer i had was wrong..
i know that only yesterday...
till yesterday the answer i had was
Becoz you are a piece of my life.
but i know that answer is wrong le...

n i know wats the real answer le....
Becoz since October 5th,
i had forgetten the days i had before tt date,
n the answer was found only in that date.
Becoz i nvr met a girl that loved me like you
Becoz you are not a piece of my life,
but we are a piece of a life.
To me we aint 2 whole.
but 2 halves of a whole.
haha...if u r wondering y the date is october 5th,
its the date you sent me a msg.
That changed my life.

I still stand by what i said to you.
Its true i would have live on if i din noe u
But now that i love you
I m living better

Happi chinese new year in advance

All of the sudden i lost contact wif u....
juz hoping you are alright....
emotions fading out...
everything seem so wrong now

2009-01-23T21:27:00.002+08:00

Had a wonderful day with honey..
well of coz...
ani day spent wif honey is always a wonderful day....

wen to amk ate NEW YORK....
den went find my vest haha..
Cudnt find ..
actually is found but too ex...
so yea nvm bah...
den collected my new specs LOLOLOL

brought honey to my hse
yea tts qte the end of the day...

Honey actually i wanted to say.
Because i m wif you,
thats y i will share all burdens with u
i will take the blame off you..
so please stop blaming yourself..
and the reason is I love you

2009-01-21T23:05:00.001+08:00

Haha i was about to post the sweet message here but what's the point?
Since its only meant for you it shall only be for you.
Seeing you each day, just make me love you more and more.
Love you darling.

sweettalk...or not

2009-01-19T00:32:00.002+08:00

yea mayb you are right..
i only know how to sweet talk..
sorry honey
for your sake
i try to be more action boyfriend okay =)

but however
pardon me once more okay =)

If the butterfly can't live without the flower
u will be my flower
but comparing you to a flower is an insult to you.
since the flower pale to ur beauty

If the cub can't live without the lioness
you will be my lioness
but comparing you to a lioness is unfair to you
since the love you shown doesnt lose to one of a mother's

If the trees can't live without the sunlight
u will be my sunshine
but comparing you to the sun is unappropriate
the light u give out is far superior

If i am to use something to describe you
you will be the gravity of my life
i will always be the one pillar in my life
the one and only

i cant bear to think the time tt u will say u dun love me animore.
but i do know.
the time i spend with you now n eva
is the time i will cherish in my heart forever

dere i juz done it another sweettalk.
but i will try to prove it to u in action.
for once.
i will let sweettalk
b shown in actions

love you Ng Ee Yun

2009-01-16T21:13:00.002+08:00

Hmmm today haha...
met honey =)....
erm b4 that
Sorry Brenda put you aeroplane ><

So met Honey..
went to had fish and co.
finally for once..
i finish the whole meal LOL!!!

Well anw after the meal
brought honey home.
Hahaha....welll..
she played her pet society...
jealous die of her...
gt so mani thgs but den agn
game oni hahaha...

Den Honey kip stealing my baby....
LOL....in this case baby is my booster haha...
honey kip huggin it LOL!!...
den in ani case...
mum was commenting
'Eii Eeyun so zhun twice we cooked the same dish (xue yu) twice she came haha'
LOL!!!
then yea after dinner..
wanted sent honey home but due to time...
only can sent her up the bus T.T
haix...

hmmm the nxt tym i cud see honey is next friday..
which is one week from now..
i hate hvin to work on weekends..
cant pei honey T.T
sorry honey i will try as much as possible find time
1 week....
god bless i survive this week..

will miss you...

P.S When will you ever learn honey, everything that is done for your sake.Its worth it. =)

don't know what to say

2009-01-14T01:09:00.004+08:00

Baby has such funny comments.
Me: i talking to my gf over the phone but she is not talking to me
Me: Wierd right?
Baby: LOL! yea
Baby: Kinda of remind me of what i did to -someone-
Baby: but it is not the same as your case
LOL..
only inside people will know why i laugh haha..

anw 1.14am....
i finished my project.
time to sleep.

Lol Today....
lazy tok bout it..
but a veri random thing happen..
mayb its fate i happen to meet this lady on the mrt hahaha
Thank you Miss/Mrs/Madam whoever u are haha

i miss you.alot alot Ng Eeyun

addicted to 1,2 ,3, 4

i love you

2009-01-13T19:30:00.000+08:00

Thinking bout you, make my troubles all go away,
seeing you cry, i promise i wun turn away.
Waiting for you, i wish time could fly away,
Missing you now, i hope you wun drift away.

I know life sucks when i couldnt be close to you
Mani Days and nights i wish i could be dere for you
Hoping time will freeze when i am out there with you,
Wanted just to say, i love you.

Tears flowing down on my cheeks
I duno why.
Wish you were here.
But hoping i was dere...

Was this wat i feels to be in love.
Fearing to lose you, i duno wat to do.
Thinking bout stuffs my friend would never guess.
Hoping to find the days i could spent with you..

But sincerely here, i want you to know i love you.
Just miss the time i could had spent with you.

Thanks alot

2009-01-12T17:45:00.003+08:00

i want to thank alot of people.
For helping me tide through today.

Mainly:
Thanks Sebastian
Thanks Kian Tat
Thanks Baby Hui Juan
Thanks Zhi Jie
Thanks Shirley
Thanks Amanda
Thanks Aisyah

Haha....among all
oni 2 read my blog so dey noe i thank dem..
among all..
none noe y i thank dem today...

haha
basically i thank you coz help me stop anihow tink..
today was basically terrible haha..
moodless right frm the point i woke up...
den even the tiny winy emotions all faded away.
due to some w8in..

but in the w8in..
i had u guys..
pei me arnd tok abit.
haha
play bridge...
had fun in MOB tutorial wif you guys oso haha...

in one particular bridge game i notice...
i tried to bid...
but i cudnt coz some1 outbid me..
i tried n tried n tried..
n finally i got the bid
but i lost the game....

its tt wat life is about?
if i let loose of my emotions...
i get thgs i wanted..
i lose in life...

or shud i continue lettin emotions outbid me..
but will i survive n live to see wat i won?

To remember or to forget

2009-01-11T23:31:00.002+08:00

Hmmmm
Duno whether wan post full story here not haha....
nvm give general overview haha....
details r ardy ranted to different ppl mainly Bro Hester, ShirKey n 1 more guy lmao....

anw...
today had work..
den took a half day to go see honey....
4pm left shop...
trained down to simei immediately.....
reach le called honey once...
off her phone.....

stoned at simei for 30mins..
called agn..
still offed..
feeling dam effed up...
sms qte alot ppl...
none cud help
den Shirkey called..

Talked to her abit b4 she wen help her mother cook..
Thanks alot Shirkey haha...
ok to thank you properly.
Thank you ShirLey.. haha

den made a bet if bus 5 came take go ehub.
bus 9 came.
juz go beach n fuck care everythg....

but in the end bus 5 came.
reach liao found honey finally...

den -skip-
-skip-

went changi beach after that.
let the wind blow at me.
anw qte hard to maintain my anger at honey....

so hu eva say ' It is difficult to stay angry at someone you love'
the person is tellin the truth haha....
den had abit of tok...

but den haix time flies too fast...
n yea soon muz depart...

if oni time cud freeze
i truly hope for that too haix...
now is like totally difficult to spent time wif honey.....
haix.....

will strive extra hard to squeeze time
for the sake of honey..

P.s this is one day..i wish i could forget it..but i wish i could keep it in my memory for life

2009-01-08T16:55:00.002+08:00

There will be a day for everyone when everything goes wrong.
When you feel so fucked up and its like u really needed someone to talk to.
But cause the day is so wrong.
Just nice everyone would not be there for you to talk to.
Then unbelieveable things happen.
Things you never thought could happen happen.
People you never thought you would lose.
You lost them.

Heres a little story.

Once upon a time, there live a little boy name Idiot.
Now when young Idiot parents divorce, and his mum remarry.
His stepdad was a very good person and they had quite a good life.

However one day, his stepdad suddenly quit his job due to personal reasons.
From that day, things changed.
Idiot could not have things he wanted but he did not mind actually.
His Mum and Dad tried to find new jobs and make end meet.
But it was a little difficult.
Idiot was helpless and he totally could not do anything.
Though he already did help buy not asking unnecessary things.

However one day, His mum could not take it.
After much consideration, she asked Idiot opinion about something.
Upon hearing it, Idiot though was very sad, but have to agree nevertheless.

Though it was not a big thing to ask,
But to little Idiot that thing was quite important to him.

And to make matter worse, Idiot started losing everything important to him at the same time.
And seriously, he knows its too late to apologies.

Anyone want to guess when is the death of Idiot coming?

Bedtime story

2009-01-07T22:11:00.002+08:00

Once upon a time..there was a little boy name Ter.
Somehow in his life something is always lacking.
However one day, came a girl into his life
and everything changed.
Her name was Ney.

When Ney came into his life,
Ter start to found things lacking in his life.
He changed.
He no longer need stupid reminders like Faith on his msn
He knew how to love this girl right from the start.
And he knew this is the right girl to love.

Despite all the problems they faced,
the unhappiness that once happened....
the miscommunication..
however, deep inside Ter knew this is still the right girl he loved...

And finally one day, he found a fairy godmama.
He asked for a wish.
and his wish was:' Please fairy godmama, bless me a blissful relationship with Ney.'

If asked whether he is willing to give his future to Ney.
He will gladly reply Yes.

Ter sincerely hope the wish will come true.
But however, he knew he must of cause put in effort in the relationship.
And the rest, we shall wish for a happily ever after.
Love you hoNEY.

Somehow sometimes i don't know how to tell you how much i love you.
But really please. If there is anything you felt or thought.
Please tell me honey..rly rly...
It doesnt matter what number i m
i juz wish to be your last.

If u wished to know.
you are number 19.
but officialy
you r the last one.

There is no after you....

2009-01-06T18:44:00.000+08:00

Neyney says:hate you -.-

Emo die T.T

i want to love you before u love me

2009-01-05T17:57:00.004+08:00

Hmmm i m missing honey.......
missed her alot alot haix....

Lately I've been thinkinga bout the things that we've been through
And I don't know if I'd be here,If not for you

I know we're moving fast
We're running from the past
I'm holding on before it fades away

I had to take a little time
To try to work things out
And you should know that
I have never meant
To let you down

Could it be that maybe it's our first mistake
And baby that's alright
It's crazy how we lost ourselves tonight
There's a reason why they say that we should give it time
But time is not enough
And that's the reason why
When you're young you fall in love

So tell me can this really work
Or will we end up getting hurt
Is this love or myth
So tell me are you in for this
There's so much more than we can see
More than you
More than me
It takes two to believe

I told you every day
I told you every night in every way
I love you

Maybe you got scared
Maybe I have nothing else to say
But I love you
So baby now my life's a mess
Cause i'm
Cos I couldn't love you any less

As I look into your eyes
I see an angel in disguise
Sent from God above
For me to love

To hold and idolise
And as I hold your body nearI
I see this month through to a year
And then forever on
Til life is gone
Ill keep your loving near

Too soon
It's not right
It's not fair
It's in you baby cut like a knife
What if you are the love of my life

Too serious, too soon
I wanted you to love me
I wanted to be there for you like no one else before
Too serious, too soon
I wanted you to love me

2009-01-04T21:48:00.001+08:00

TOday....

chiong go meet honey at 11.30 at her tuition center....

den we went some confectionary store...

cudnt find wat we want...

so we go bedok library study do her maths agn...

den after tt

we mrt to jurong point to find a pooh bear...

cant find

but tt mrt trip was qte fun

HAHA

honey slpt on my shoulders frm pasir to bugis...

den yea we went chinese garden

=)

den after tt cudnt sent honey home...

though wasted day for bakin but..

hahaha

lovely day wif honey

love you honey...

2009-01-03T22:56:00.002+08:00

ARHHHH!!!!!!!!
my mum cannot leave hse like that...
if not i feel complete lost......
for 17 years lei..
my pilllar of support...
thru all times....
always dere..
i always think my mum is the strongest...
haix haix haix................

Well today was suppose to b a wonderful day...
i met honey at bugis......
den we go buy calculator la..
walk arnd national library.la..
cant find a spot at the study lounge RAHH!!!
so instead..we went my hse

so yea
at my hse..
we studied...
i did abit of her hmwk for her but she unhappi she wanted do herself LOL!!!!
den we played facebook pet society....
den yea yea yea..
rest of it is secret..
oh yea we fixed a jigsaw puzzle oso LOL!!!!

love die honey...

-secret secret-

2009-01-01T00:23:00.001+08:00

Time time time...is all u wan time...
hv all of it...take all of my oso

2008-12-31T23:46:00.003+08:00

I TELL U FIRZ B4 U READ ANI FURTHER

I M FUCKIN CRYIN WHILE TYPIN TIS OUT

N YES I M CRYING OVER U

N I GNA TELL U Y EVERYTYM

U R UNHAPPI U GIV ME WAT ANSWERS?

I ASK U

1 word answers

i ask u y u r unhappy

wen was once u will tell me truthfully wat the fuck happen

U TELL ME LA

EVERYTYM I M UNHAPPI SINCE TT PROMISE I RANTED ON THIS FUCKIN BLOG N SHOWED U DIN I DID I

I KEPT MY PROMISE

BUT U WEN WAS THE LAST TYM U R TOTALLY TURTHFUL TO ME I ASK U LA

u r unhappi now

m i suppose to ignore u

i understand u gt mood swings...

I ASK Y?

unhappi.

juz unhappi lor

throw my laptop?

DEN U ASK FOR 20mins

OF COZ U CAN HV IT WATEVA U WAN U CAN HV IT

JUZ TELL ME WAT U WAN

M I SUPPOSE TO SAY ORH U UNHAPPI I IGNOE U FIRZ

GO B UNHAPPI

U NOE HOW MUCH IT FELT INSIDE FOR ME TO SEE U UNHAPPI

OR U WAN ME SAY YEA TRASH THE LAPTOP U WILL FEEL ALOT BETTER

U WAN ME TO SAY TT IZZIT

I ASK U LA IZZIT

U NOE WATS MY LIFE WIFOUT U

U NOE WATS MY LIFE WEN I SEE U UNHAPPI

U NOE WATS MY DAY LIKE WEN I CUD TINK OF NOTHING BOUT U

TINK HOW TO GET U STUDY

TINK WHERE U CAN HV MORE FUN

THINK WAT CNA I SAY TO CHEER U UP

N DEN EVERYTYM I GET WAT U TELL ME WAT LA

SHIQI PROB ok fine

Amanda one of ur best fren rant to u

yea of coz u muz listen to their probs..... u r their best frens i respect tt

I ASK U DO U GIV DEM SUCH ANSWERS???

DO U TELL DEM

UNHAPPI

juz UNHAPPI LOR

IF U RLY DO DEN FINE I WILL ACCEPT TTS PART OF U NOTHING SAID

U TINK OF URSELF IN MY SHOES LA

I TYPE THOSE ANSWERS FOR U

WATS WUD UR FEELING B LIKE WAT LA I ASK U

U WILL ALWAYS GIV ME UR USUAL ANYTHING RITE

I RANTING ALL TIS OUT COZ I WAN TO LIVE LONGER

I NOE IF I TAKE IT UP SOMEMORE i PROBABLY DIE...

I RANT TIS OUT COZ I WAN TO TELL U CLEARLY

I LOVE YOU

BUT I M SIMPLY AT A LOSS ON HOW TO LOVE U

WHAT EXACTLY DO U WAN ME TO DO

N i m totally sry to hv posted tis post.....

too much thgs hv happen recently...

dying was almoz one of dem..

hmm ranting rantin n more ranting

2008-12-30T23:55:00.004+08:00

Hmm...i duno how long i can survive.............
seriously duno...............
hving 1 side of my heart wanting to rant every fuckin thg out.
hvin the other side kipin everythg inside for the sake of......
kz wateva i gna get on wif it..
oh yea....wun b updating the 898 to 800th msg today ppl...
sorry for those hu read.....like cin LOL.....
n oh yea thz cin for listenin to me rant...
rly ranted like nobody business......

its dam holy petty but tts me..
i read pearly personal msg...
n it once said -a name- say it isint normal for guys to get jealous.
it makes dem looks like sissy..
or smth like tt..
i read liao i m like
i m the moz sissy guy in tis world den...

but today isint bout jealousy.....
i duno wtf hit me...
probably coz the time i w8ed for ur sms?
makes me tink back n tink of all the stupid parts.
like how tis always happen.
i sent u home
i msg u u nvr reply....
n like...
how i go out wif u....
ur frens family call
u can always pick up...
but once or twice wen i call..
u always nvr pick up.....

i not sayin its ur fault...
but somehow...
its juz pains inside.....
i make up excuse to calm myself...
my stupid n bloody idiotic self...

den tts wen the war begins aint it terence....
one side kip sayin tell her about it....
but u noe tt while telling u will throw out alot explicites..
u noe tt deep inside ur heart...
n u noe the damage it will cause on ur relationship..

tts wen the other side tell u.
u noe u love her
u love her like nothing in tis world..
its pratically liek ur whole life revolves arnd her..
u make promises to urself she doesnt noe about...
u told urself u wun care bout ath else in tis world other den her.
u told urself u love her n oni her..
u told urself no more second glances of other girls..
u told urself she is all worth everythg u r doing n wateva u told urself
its for her someone hu is worth it..

at firz the title of tis post is wats the point....
after rantin finish i finally saw the point so i change the title..
u r worth everythg...though u wun admit it
but truly u r worth it..
n i love you
i noe i do
i rly do
我爱你

2008-12-29T17:51:00.009+08:00

I duno if u can see all of the msges on my blog..
but since it hit 1k smses le haha.-between me n honey-
i decided to post all the msges over the next few days.
startin wif today here is the 1000th to the 900th msges
=)....
highlighted in blue is personal favourite..
highlighted in red is 100% will nvr delete..=)
highlighted in green is those i cried

1000th: Whats inside you heart. what currently are you thinking about
999th: and that why you should to give up? and want us to live on our different lifes
998th:and because of that i lost you
997th: but why did you sa that
996th: no is 'nt rly its me hu lost u & and different life too'
995th:you know that your one sentence.lets lead in our own different lifes
can make me broke down...and i thought i can handle my life without you...
and it hurt so much on the second day and i miss you alot.. that makes
me think alot of silly things and broke down. my guyfriends try to cheer me up
and fail instead i bursted out into tear with their nonsense... and that time realise
i reallly like you. the thrid day only my girlfriends manage make me happy
and think of you once.. and your sister talked to me
994th:oh then you better get resting
993th:if its a no, if its a yes what your reaction for both answer
992th:haha.wow. not bad ah. friends coming to yishun accompany you to cheer you up,
then must make sure you smile smartly to them. if not they will think i bully their boy.
haha and someone must thank god. lets forget the past okay. start a new fresh.
991th:i not sleeping early. i promise someone to study. goodnight have sweet dreams too
990th: no la. i off my phone lol.cause i want concentrate haha.sorry
989th:oh.haha.you change hao le arh.lol.er..you wake up so early for?
988th:oh.then later you going where
987th:oh whatever..haha.doesnt mean i like you means i have to date you right
986th:havent you eaten?
985th:i coming i eat first why you want go other place ah
984th:you scare i put airplane ah.
983th:you playing in what lane
982th:haha.sad case.play you bilard first la
981th:lol.cannot meh.
980th:haha.then go eat first
979th:you can play le mah
978th:can i ask you a qns you got bring your psp
977th:oh okay. i want to make spoilt it
976th:my friend say that i became so quiet.not like in the past very talkative with guys
975th:at cs there. you find me loh.
974th:you meet you friend le mah
973th:now taking mrt back haha. my friend you are just like her bf
972th:huh.what thing
971thmy friend atlast want play my psp but i never bring.lol.
then atlast want play yours but then end up dont dare
970th:she say she dont like touching people psp. plus even so you not close to her
969th:she just dont like the feeling haha.
968th:i love you? to who.haha. your seb ah
967th:haha.if your friend say so means your heart dont belong to me
966th:what impression
965th:lol.okay.since someone is so tired
964th:okay.goodnight
963th:what you doing?
962th:i havent draw anything haha.no mood
961th:i doing mask. haha. dont know leis.
960th:haha. i found a table to draw
959th:haha.i no mood draw
958th:you cheer me up first
957th:erm.taking photos
956th:sorry.
955th:why also not your fault. is my fault i never do my art never listen to you.eating
954th:have you eaten?
953th:im so full. haha
952th:er..also not good stuff.haha.my friend help me eat half of it
951th:cause alot mah.lol.haha.what you eat
950th:not bad ah.eat my organ up
949th:its okay haha.the bus very long leis.lol.should have let my friend pei me
948th:yea.early right
947th:early what.lol.not like the past 10+
946th:what the hell.i saw my ex
945th:lol.is another guy.keep on staring at me like eating bomb medicine
944th:i reached home already lol.nothing happen
943th:havent. why miss me ah
942th:what you doing. are you online?
941th:oh.haha.you cannot see me cause the sky is dark.
940th:ya.haha.in the datime find the happiest cloud
939th:er..haha.dont know.youalso still say me.im having a headache
938th:okay pretend i've sleep.haha.go sleep. my boy
937th:after you.haha
936th:okay goodnight.haha.have sweet dreams.
935th:我也爱你
934th:waiting for you reply.every message is a dissappointment
933th:no la. i got two friend message me i thought it was you
932th:oh okay.goodnight then
931th:thinking
930th:art.dont need la. haha.alot of things
929th:what.haha.my school ended early..
928th:haha.after i help shiqi print her stuff.yea.no school. should be no bah
927th:i think so.what time?
926th:wei..mr goh how dare you tell me you want skip lesson
925th:er..i tomorrow night cannot tuesday bah.
924th:nope so you better turn in early too.
923th:haha.you may sleep
922th:on this cold cold nite, in my small small room, i look at the brite brite stars
in the dark dark sky and dream of ur sweet sweet smile on ur cute cute face!
good nite sweet dream..
921th:haha.i'll try. thanks lovee <3
920th:yea.
919th:haha.tired sia. yea loh.
918th:later no one accompany you
917th:its okay la.haha.i can pei you.
916th:i too tired, at first going haha..
915th:haha.cannot i promise my ah ma pei her eat dinner.tomorrow la.
914th:dont want.pei you first haha if not feel guilty
913th:im not tired so can pei you okay
912th:haha.hows your first day
911th:haha.good what see i told you. you dont look gay
910th:you want me meet you at where
909th:up to you.dont need alway qian jiu me.haha. im not a spoilt gf
908th:i anything de.you want me meet at where
907th:mrt platform bah.
906th:haha.you go sleep now okay?
905th:then you pretend i sleep liao
904th:i dont care.you got school so you must go sleep now
903th:but i want you to sleep more
902th:thats because i love you.haha.goodnight.sweet dreams. see you tomorrow.
901th:same haha.okokay terence go sleep. <33
900th:hellow.haha.sorry i was sleeping

So thats the first 100 msges....frm the oldest i saved haha...
tomorrow continue agn haha

meaningless post.

2008-12-28T16:56:00.003+08:00

its like this....
since 12noon i w8ed onl9...
tokin to random ppl..
ok tokin to baby(hj) n pearly mozly..
den i went play some stupid no life game..
den i chiong chiong chiong..
den i kip noticing ur absence but nvm..
wats the point.......

if u felt sad or pissed readin my sms..
tink bout me past feel days readin ur one words smses.
hows the feeling like.
nvm.

2008-12-27T00:02:00.000+08:00

Hmm...today haha...
met shirkey n cwindiie le hahaha...
n alot other cff ppl..
well had qte a nice nite wif dem
haha
wish dey had the same experience too haha..

Anw today had qte a fruitful day haha...
wen to bugis study wif honey.
ok correction..
is pulled honey go do her hols hmwk..
i did some for her..LOL!!!

den wen to bugis walk arnd...
met baby(huijuan) n jingmei haha...
den tok abit haha....

den wen to hv steamboat
as i said..
had qte alot of fun...
but probably coz honey was wif me all the tym haha..

love ya honey...
well after tt sent her home..
had some fun oso =x..
secret secret...
hahaha
tada~~

love you zhuzhu

2008-12-26T20:56:00.002+08:00

Hmmm today...
Went to watch angus thongs and perfect snogging wif honey...
lol...a girl show i kena pulled to watch hahaha oh well..
honey xi huan jiu hao haha..
den after that honey came my hse agn..
today finally played the real mahjong haha...
hope she learnt smth haha.

oh well....
i seriously duno how will i live wifout you..
i thz god for letting me meet u .
every nite every day i wud b tinkin of u...
u juz simply r perfect to me...
n i juz love you so..
=)...
even if u wan me watch tons of other movies like angus thongs..
as long as u r the one watchin wif me..
its all worth it..

thanks for spendin the day wif me

2008-12-25T23:23:00.003+08:00

=)...christmas...a time of gifts and sharing lol...
Haha... well...
Honey came my hse today haha....
b4 tt we went imm..
hmm duno whether becoz she is tired..
or i m juz sianxed coz she is tired...
Imm wasnt rly enjoyable....
but after tt...
com my hse...
haha...
had more fun haha..
well..
i hope honey had as much fun as me though..
and seriously.....
My mum present of a musical box to honey was a thorough surprise to me..LOL!!!....

all in all..
juz wanted to say .
love you honey.

2008-12-24T18:39:00.002+08:00

hmmm.....haix....
i don't know why.
knowin the truth sometimes....
haix..
its difficult to explain....
but sometimes after knowin something..
ur subconciousness suddenly feel like fkin up ...
and you push all your limits to stop it... haix.
cause you know its not worth it..
and it is not what you think.....

if the world is the stage.
i am the great actor.
i could have won an oscar award for terrific acting.

words unsaid leave holes in my heart

2008-12-24T13:43:00.001+08:00

不说就算了。什么都不说我也不想强迫你说。

2008-12-24T11:32:00.000+08:00

Haha.last night...i can't slp..
i called honey ask her sing me a lullababy haha.
.And SHE RLY DID!!!
hahalove die you honey =) haha..

2008-12-23T20:04:00.000+08:00

LOL...Honey ask me post de haha...

You make everythg perfect =)

2008-12-22T23:19:00.003+08:00

Disclaimer:Before u read further down..It is my duty to warn you what you are reading might cause serious goosebumps and might cast doubts over whether you are at the right blog.
For those who cannot take the content at any point of time please feel free to press that red cross at top right corner.
And once again this post is actually meant for 1 person.
And that is Honey aka Ng Eeyun

Hmm...
last nite slpt at god noes wat tym...zzzz...

anw woke up at 7..went bath n prepare...
8+am left hse...go simei fetch honey..haha..
den after that made our way to dg...
was punctual..for once HAHHAA...
so bought the tix..
caught YesMan wif honey tianrong yongle n yuting. haha...
after the show had a lunch..
ok all veri uninterestin part to u all so i skip..
though i muz say it was great fun haha...

bottom note..bought a deck of cards for my christmas present haha..
Tian Rong oso. Yong Le n Yu Ting had chocolates..
n erm..
Sorry honey...i will get u ur present on 25th december haha..
pinky promise...

well i shall juz explain today gatherin at the point of view of spendin tym wif honey...
It was wonderful..
seriously she made everythg perfect in my life..
pity she came 17 years lata....
if oni ok...maximum is 15 years earlier since she is 15 oni tis year...
anw.....wif her arnd...well...
she hv tis kinda aura arnd her..
wif her tickling n funi thgs..
tt makes me do funi thgs oso...~.~
like biting ur gf chin...
n lettin ur gf leave bite marks on ur hand HAHHAAHA....

well all day long....
she been a wonderful company..
of coz muz thz tian rong yong le n yuting for the day too.
but wifout honey arnd..
it always seems smth is lackin ...
god...i m startin to cant live wifout her....

early in morning wake up early..
endure the stupid bus ride to fetch her
-oh yea point to note...i always puke wen on bus-
but juz the firz look at her.
n everythg is so worth it...
whole day jzu went past quickly...

but i always grasp the fact tt
it isint a day has past..
its a new memory of tym spent wif honey...

oh yea..to those ppl hu cant stand stupid mushy stuff..
er press tt red X button on the top right hand corner..
sorry juz hv to spill it all out. haha..

well den the day spent walkin arnd...
shoppin..lookin at new stuffs.
n doing more stupid stuff HAHAH...
well den buy some stuff...
ate some thgs.
played new games...HAHA..
i try some new games on honey nitendo ds..
or honey's sista's nitendo ds to b exact haha...

oni regret..nvr take photo T.T

well at teh end of the day...
sent her to simei..
den endure the 1hour+ train back to yishun..
but tinkin bout the day spent wif honey haha..
its like asking a dam obvious qns..
wud u wan to do everythg u did agn.
of coz i do...
YES!! YES!! YES!!

like i say...u make everythg perfect
my oni hope is....
i can play my role to perfection too haha..

oh yea honey..sorry to make u sad die for tt 10sec haha..
my NS is not until 2 years lata n dun wry..
n oh yea i will pray ask dem dun enlist me b4 12march HAHA...
i aint wanna miss ur birthday too haha..
Love you honey..
Love you lots.

2008-12-20T23:12:00.002+08:00

hmm.... time to blog bout today..

haha

...

i seriously duno wat will happen wifout my bros..

my life wifout dem...

hmm able to live on..

but properly veri dull..

probably wifout ALOT ALOT OF LAUGHTER...

haha...

being wif dem.

if u can accept their nonsense sick jokes...

n crappiness..

den U GT URSELF A VERI GOOD BUNCH OF BROS hahaa

though..

sorry i cant spent much time wif u guys tis year...

terribly sorry...

well today...hmmm..

Early morning Honey came

wif macdonald big breakfast for me...

n she GAVE ME 3 MINS TO GET RDY.

den i muz go meet her lol.

Thanks honey..

Love you for the great morning....

den walk arnd until 12+....

she went off..

i went home prepare...

den 2+ left hse...

went bishan meet zhu yk n hp..

LOL...den zhu bought his soccer shoes...

so rich sia he -ZZZZ-

den we went Ri..

found some blacks..

kick arnd..

sweat play forget bout thgs..

-dun tink too much-

HAHAHHA....

den arnd 4.40pm...

cannot tahan liao...

so decided stop..

den while yk zhu hp go bath...

i slack arnd..

msg cwindiie.

den suddenly a pleasant surprise.. haha..

Eeyun say she escaped...

so she com bishan meet me..

den the rest of the nite..

shall b between me n her...

i tired dun wan blog on =P..

n oh yea..

TO: MY VERY SPECIAL BEST FRIEND.

Teo Wan Yi...

I m very sorry. Guess you are kind of disappointed with me?

So sorry Wan Yi. Dui bu qi..

=)

2008-12-19T21:07:00.001+08:00

hmm
changed blog skin...
somehow juz happen to find a blogskin..
tt suits wat i m currently feeling haha...

well....sayonara.

2008-12-18T22:32:00.002+08:00

HAHAHA..
went watch twilight wif honey...LOL...

wanted her buy the tix..
but end up...
went buy the tix myself..alone HAHA....
but nvm......love die her....

so yea..i bought the tix..met up
went to find the macdonalds..
the one last tym every friday me n jun yang n vincent go de..
remeberin the days we used to jaywalk across the expressway..HAHAHA
funi die..
n the screams...
the frights..
n the fun hahaha...
not forgetin the exhuastion LOL....

well i m gna bring honey walk tt path one fine night hahah...
honey better b prepared...

so apparently due to too long nvr go that macdonalds..
we went on a wild goose chase LOL!!!..
sorry honey... =P..
walk here walk dere cant find zzz...
but in the end
finally found it haha..
n honey refuse let me sit the swing T.T

well after that went back watch the movie...
its....
quite nice haha...
den take 25 sent honey home..
had some fun on the bus MUAHAHAHA
-secret secret-

den after tt had a promise wif honey..
went home
n tada..
here m i bloggin...

honey...
nxt tym wan test my reaction
remember dun inform me u wan test me
LOL!!!!

n honey..
i love you alot..
basically can't live wifout u..
its like..a drug addict wifout his heroine...
haha.

i rather die loving you.
den live wifout u....
<33 love you honey...
Ng Eeyun =)

爱你，Tor

cold water n decisions.......i feel goood~~~~~OWHHHH~

2008-12-17T17:37:00.003+08:00

heres a stupid thg tt happen lmao...
i was like...ok ah choo ah choo..
caught a slight cold tym to take a warm bath...
so i went in toilet...
on heater...
on the water....
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i felt so good..coz my maid usin the dryer..
the heater main switch was off...
means...
no heater...
over heated body meets the cold water......
~.~
den i lazy shout for my maid on the heater for me..
i juz bath in the cold water......
woooohooo..
chances of catchin a cold ....
ultra super high...HAHAHAA....
stupid thgs ppl wen do wen dey arent tinkin properly.....

exhuasted......totally...
but still rejectin slp.............

i made a stupid decision....
but yea since its ardy made..
notice the past tense....

i gna loved u for life..no matter wat u do...

wtf-ness...totally....

2008-12-17T07:35:00.003+08:00

century of posts...hmm...tis blog survive until 100 post..not bad lol.....

last nite was nitemarish....
wrong...
basically speakin...
its a living hell..
everytym i close my eyes...
an image of u comes up..
everytym an image of u comes up.
the heart starts achin.
everytym the heart starts achin
my eyes open once agn...

so u can imagine my nite..
i din slp at all..
totally~..
not even 1 wink.
its like wtf-ness....
i tossed about on the bed for like .
erm lets count 11pm to 5am..
12am 1am 2am 3am 4am 5 am
6 hours.wow great...wasted so much tym stayin awake..
mite as well juz so smth else..
totally fucktard....

until 5am..
i totally gave up slpin..
n did my cross stitch
until now..
its early 7.37 in the morning....
n its like wtf-ness..agn
wen i found out for the firz tym.
i woke up earlier den my maid wifout the alarm clock...
totally busted....

i read ur post le......
Thanks honey.
Love you <3
haha...
till today..
i din noe i m so fuckin petty....

ok nvm...
perhaps u had made my day...
mayb u had me cheered up.
but somehow deep inside...
i cant rid myself of tt resentment....
its fuckin killin me..
n robbing me of my conscience...

terence goh..u r such a pathetic loser..
terence goh ming zhe shud juz fucked off n die..

cant believe all tis is caused by 1 small bet between she n her fren..
wtf-ness....totally....

2008-12-16T19:58:00.002+08:00

hmm since u say u wan noe how i tink....

i feeling dam fucked up now..
i oso duno y..
i went out today..
i kept tinkin of tml.
the more i tink
the more i hated it
get tis fuckin feeling outa me....

i oso duno y la..
probably i too petty..
n sorry for the dao sms reply today.
i din noe wat got into me.
guess its juz too much bah
but i oso forgetten u did inform me u learnin smth frm ur mum
haha..
hope u had enjoyed urself honey...
n i got the present le....

tml.........i shall not on my hp..
i shall not on my comp.
i shall tok to no one.
i shall kip my temper in check regularly..
i shall go enter temper management.
n if i can find such class..
i will find jealously management class..
pettiness management class....
wateva class tt i can find.........

juz blindin doing everythg n anithg.
not botherin to tink..
n at the end
the bottom line.
wen u r readin tis..
those thoughts had ardy taken its toll on me..
i had ardy shut off my phone..
n off my comp..
probably on my bed aslp..
refusin to emo..
or probabaly doing the cross stitch until my eyes tired..
n finally close...

sorry for my attitude..
sorry u had such a stupid boyfren...

but bottom line..
hope u enjoy ur day tml kz..
)=)
which do u see?....
the happy face or sad face......

nitez honey....
and sorry if tis post bugs u...
if its too much for u to noe...den
probably u can choose for me to hide these dumb feelings agn.....

i m such a fucktard..

2008-12-14T17:24:00.003+08:00

I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
Cause no one else cared

After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
When I'm done here

So if you're asking me
I want you to know

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

And don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest Leave out all the rest

Hmm....kinda...muz com clean wif everythg...
Somehow...i always more of fear of losin her.haix.
oso duno y...mayb is juz she refuse to tell me ath?..
or mayb is jzu coz of the constant apologising...
or mayb..is juz coz she kip doubtin herself..

Shes making me doubt myself oso...
n i m so afraid of losin myself...
i never been so afraid to let go b4...
i juz love her n i noe its frm the bottom of my heart.

tis is the oni tym..
i noe i cant live wif the regret of lettin her go..
so i aint gna make tt greatest mistake of my life..
i gna try...i gna change myself....
i will kip myself in tabs...
if in the end..all fails..
at least...i tried...

signs of differences:
Gettin jealous..
Forever yearnin to see her.
overwhelmin fears of losin her.

haix...mayb too mani bah..

last nite i had a nitemare..haix...
lucky it cant b possible..
how did i even survive tt nitemare...

love you honey....
i will nvr get sick of u..
never eva...
n sorry for makin u say sorry.
haha....
爱焰不熄，热情不减
=)

2008-12-10T12:25:00.006+08:00

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argh...my eyes is dazed now hahaha

2008-12-09T23:55:00.002+08:00

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god my drawin sux....but hu cares at least i vented my emotions...
juz wen i thot..lol....void =)

2008-12-09T10:17:00.000+08:00

=)..
love you honey..